Staring Out, Looking In
by At A Venture
Summary: EricSookieBill. One Shot. Following Club Dead, Sookie casts Eric and Bill from her life. One night, both vampires return to pay her a visit.


Southern Vampire Mysteries

Eric/Sookie Pairing

At a little after nine, I emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a fuzzy pink towel. I'd folded my wet hair behind my head in a simple yellow clip. I could feel a presence lingering in my grandmother's old bedroom, a heaviness that leaned on my keen mind. My eyes walked around the corners of the room, which I'd learned to leave well lit given my affection for danger. My eyes fell at last on the window, where I watched rain slide down the pane in heavy drops. Standing at the foot of it was Eric Northman, his smile glinting, a purple umbrella held up over his head. I gazed at him, unblinking, for almost a full minute before I went to open the window and stare out at him properly.

"Let me in, Sookie," he said smoothly.

"You're not my boss anymore, Eric. I don't have to listen to you." I muttered. I felt lonely though, and I wondered if he could feel that too. We'd shared blood once, quite a lot of it. I tried to push the memory out of my mind.

"Come on Sookie," he urged without actually urging me. Eric wasn't the type of man to beg for anything. He always got what he wanted. Still, he couldn't get in without my help.

"Is Bill with you?" I asked, and suddenly regretted it. I hadn't seen Bill in over a month. I missed him, but I didn't want to admit that to anyone else. My eyes focused on Eric. His smile disappeared, though his eyes still danced. As soon as I'd felt the pangs of loss, he'd felt them too. Great.

"No, Bill is not with me."

"Fine." I frowned. I moved back from the window and gathered my arms around my chest. I hadn't even realized I'd been cold and wet from the rain. "Come in, Eric."

The vampire slid in through the window, feet first, and landed lightly on the old oak floors of my bedroom. He folded his umbrella neatly and set it beside the old radiator to dry. He preened himself briefly before approaching me, touching his pockets as though he might have forgotten something. His hands didn't fly to his hair, which was always perfect and long and fine. Tonight, he'd braided it in the intricate fashion I wanted to learn. I admired it while trying to appear aloof. It wasn't difficult.

"You didn't scream when you saw me," Eric said without emotion. He looked down at me, his dark blue eyes darting to my wet hair, my fuzzy towel, my goosepimpled arms.

"I knew you were around," I said, shrugging my shoulders thoughtfully.

"You hoped Bill would be with me,"

"I didn't hope it. I just thought maybe he would be."

"You miss him, Sookie."

I felt a pang in my chest, and before I had thought about it, I leaned against the wall beside the window. I missed Bill, quite a lot. We'd had our problems, and they weren't resolved. I couldn't find the strength to address them, not even this long after we'd stopped seeing one another. Were we broken up? Was that what you called this predicament? I didn't know. I'd never had a boyfriend before Bill.

"Come, relax." Eric said, changing tack. He sat down easily on the bed and patted a spot next to him. I looked over at him, thought about it. Instead, I walked to the closet door to pull out my nightgown. Eric watched me intently as I shimmied the pale blue gown over my head and dropped the towel out from underneath me. I'd learned that move in gym class, about a million years ago. Eric chuckled behind me, and reached out to slide a hand around my thin waist. I was startled. He rarely made a move to touch me deliberately, unless I was in danger. My head whipped around to face him.

"Too much?" He asked, considering my reaction. He didn't drop his hand from my side. I didn't respond aloud, but I sat down beside him. He radiated cold.

"Sookie, I am sorry I ever told you about Lorena." His voice was smooth and cool, like any vampire's, but buried in it, he sounded genuinely heartfelt. Of course, he didn't have a beating heart to feel with. Although, I thought, that had never seemed to stop Bill.

"I don't want to talk about it." I replied. I didn't, either. I didn't even want to think about Bill. Bill was all I ever thought about. My mind drifted to other things.

"Why are you here, Eric?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. He regarded me with the faintest smile.

"I came to fuck you," he said as simply as if he'd come to fix my plumbing. I couldn't help my reaction. I coughed violently, as though I might be choking on his words. He rubbed his hand down my nightgown. The rage of my temper boiled inside me. I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. Underneath the rage, I tried to suppress my own desire for sex. It had been a month after all. I missed it, as much as I missed Bill. I was really terrible at not thinking about him.

"What about Bill?" I asked instantly, not even realizing the words had come out of my mouth. They left a bad taste on my tongue.

"You are no longer his, Sookie. Can you not feel it?" I couldn't feel any difference, but I was certainly lonely. I was lonely every minute, waiting for him to come back to me, to stand at my door, to wait for me to let him back into my life. He hadn't even bothered.

"You're sad, Sookie." Eric said, as though he were trying to describe the feeling, and at the same time, understand it. "You're lonely."

Eric had once told me he hated to share my feelings. It had been a long time since Eric was human. Before he'd met me, he'd simply forgotten how to feel anything at all. It had been a simpler time, before I met Eric, before I met Bill. I wasn't sure if I missed those times.

"I…" I started to say something, but my voice trailed off. He was right. I was both of those things. I let my eyes glance up at the tall, blond vampire. His skin was luminescent in the dark bedroom. The whites of his eyes shone like stars. His cold, pale hand cupped my waist again, and after a moment of hesitation, I slid against his hard torso.

Eric pulled me into an embrace I hadn't expected. Honestly, I'd figured he would throw me back on the bed, use me up, and leave. I had never been with another man besides Bill. Sometimes he had been gentle. Other times, he had been rough. Once, he had forced me without even realizing it was happening. I didn't know what I really wanted. Eric tucked me into his thin, muscular chest, wisps of his hair falling over my cheek as he bent to lick a drop of water from my damp shoulder. His tongue was cold, as I had expected it to be. Vampires were always cold, being dead and all. Eric was the oldest vampire I knew. He'd been cold for a very long time. Moving before I noticed it, Eric slid a finger under my chin and lifted my face. His eyes were steely but soft.

"I won't force you, Sookie." He said it was a kindness that struck me as unusual. Eric could have forced me if he had wished to do so. I had ingested vampire blood before, but it had been a very long time. The effects had worn off. I was powerless. I instantly recalled Bill's treatment of me in a very dark, very cramped trunk. I shuddered automatically. Eric tucked me closer against him and bent his head further to touch his lips to mine. His hands were light around my waist, his mouth hungry but restrained. The kiss deepened. His tongue slid between my lips, cold but comforting in a way I couldn't really explain. He stroked my back as his mouth moved against mine. I relaxed, kissing him back. Eric had been practicing this for hundreds of years. It was the best kiss I had ever had.

"Eric," I breathed when he pulled back, lost in the sensation of the kiss. It lingered on my lips. I exhaled again. The vampire smiled, though he never gloated. He lifted me slightly and placed me on my back on the bed. I looked up at him. Nervousness tingled on the edges of my psyche. I wondered if he would hurt me. I wondered what it would be like to be with someone else. I tried to stay focused on where I was, who I was with. I shut my eyes. There was silence.

I felt his hands slide up my thighs, brushing the inside of my leg with his thumb. He was teasing me, just barely touching me. My nerves felt like sparks, lighting up when he moved over them. I was already panting. He'd barely accomplished anything yet, and I was already on fire. Eric chuckled in the softest way and my eyes shot open, searching him out. His mouth straightened and he bent down to kiss my forehead, and then my nose. His hands pushed up my nightgown, exposing my bare pelvis. I hadn't bothered to put on underwear. I felt a twinge of shame.

"It has been a long time since I enjoyed a human," he said thoughtfully, his voice soft but not quite a whisper. I didn't answer. I didn't know what to say. Eric was beautiful and sexy, and I imagined he was talented in the bedroom as well. That is, if anything he'd done so far was an indication. I wondered why he didn't enjoy human sex more. I tried to push my mind back to the task at hand. A thumb flicked idly over my nipple. My thoughts blanked.

He was never rough, not once during the night, but at some point, he sped up his languid teasing. Eric stretched out over me, his mouth on mine, his pants on the floor, his clean white shirt discarded. He was better equipped than Bill, and I felt a shock of pain as he moved inside me. My eyes watered and I turned my head to the window. For a split second, I could swear I saw eyes staring back at me. Eric touched my cheek and I looked back at him, away from the window. His hips had stopped, pressed against mine. He was waiting for me, watching my reaction.

"He's watching us," I said, my voice quivering. I didn't dare turn my head back to the window again, but I could feel him there. Bill had been standing at the window.

"Let him watch," Eric said without emotion. He was not laughing now, not teasing. His thoughts seemed to spend less than a minute on Bill, and quickly resumed their attention to me. He touched my lips with his, slid his tongue inside my mouth. His hips resumed their movement. I whimpered with a heavy mixture of aching pleasure. My back rose up off the bed as I moved with him. His hand stretched out for mine, and I grasped it with every ounce of strength I could manage to will. I was close now.

Panting, I shut my eyes and opened them again. I caught Bill's eyes in the window. He was really staring now. His lips were pressed into an expressionless straight line. I could see his eyes smoldering. Rage seemed to seep out of him and steam in the dark, cold rain. He hadn't brought an umbrella. A wave crashed over me as I came beneath Eric. I kept my eyes open, I strained to stare at Bill. Eric slammed into me over and over again, his hands around my waist, his mouth at my breast. I felt my lips tremble. I didn't realize I had been crying out.

"Sookie," Eric crooned as he stroked my hair back from my damp face. More of his fine blond hair had fallen from its braid. It brushed my face like feathers. I blinked up at him. I'd been staring off into space for what seemed like hours.

"He was watching us," I said again, looking up into Eric's face instead of across the room to the window.

"There's no one here," Eric said quietly, tucking my trembling body against his smooth form. He'd pulled the blankets over us. I couldn't seem to stop shaking.

"Bill was here."

"Sookie," he frowned. "It was your imagination."

I blinked and scrambled out of the bed. Eric let me go easily to the window. I was naked, but I didn't care. The air in the room was warm, but my skin still broke out with goose flesh. The window was dark and empty. I shoved open the pane and stared out. Rain drenched me, but the ground had no footprints. They couldn't have washed away so quickly. Eric was right. He hadn't been there. I shut the window slowly.

"He knows, doesn't he?" I asked, still standing in front of the window. I was shivering now.

"Probably," Eric said. He was behind me. He slid his arms around me. I melted into them. He was the only one who had visited me that night.

"And he doesn't care."

I turned back to him, looking up into his eyes. He didn't smile at me. He didn't laugh. He could feel what I was feeling, and right now I was bewildered, and deeply upset. Without a sound, he lifted me up and placed me back underneath the covers. He was in beside me, pulling me against his skin. I didn't feel the need to hesitate. He was the only one who cared, and I needed someone to care.


End file.
